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Notes from a Crusty Seeker

Job ad I feel as if I keep reading: “Opportunity of a Lifetime!”

Do not answer unless you read entire posting in its entirety!

Are you a strong, driven Type A personality who can do whatever it takes to get the job done?

Are you a marketing genius who is equally left- and right-brained with a Ph.D. or master’s in business, economics, or ceramic chemistry?

Can you multi-task while working on multiple social networking platforms, with singular focus to do whatever it takes, sorting thru the cyber noise, honing in on new trends soon to impact society?

Are you a team player with a good attitude, ample enthusiasm, and superhero stamina to support and fetch coffee for your team of senior managers to get the job done?

If you can answer “yes!” to these questions; if you can remain cool, yet aggressively humble with an entrepreneurial undertone in the midst of a fast-paced, exciting new start-up, then please respond with a succinct letter in no more than one hundred forty characters explaining why we should hire you.

No attached résumés! Instead, paste your one-page C.V. and grade point average into the body of an email with the subject line: Opportunity of a Lifetime! And to prove that you read this entire posting, end your email with the code word “Razzberry”—responses with typos will be automatically deleted.

Thank you for your interest in our company, but unfortunately, due to the overwhelming response to recent job listings, our H.R. dept. has instituted a policy of only contacting respondents they are interested in.

• This is a full-time job.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products, or commercial interests.
• Absolutely no attachments.
• No unemployed people; recent grads only.
• No compensation, but great potential for growth.

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